Not too long ago, I found myself in a thought-provoking conversation with a seasoned neurologist. What started as a casual small talk soon blossomed into a mind-opening session that made me rethink a lot of what we’ve come to celebrate as “early success” in children.
We spoke about a trend that’s quietly becoming the norm in many homes: the race to raise “genius” kids. These days, some parents expect a three-year-old to read fluently, write in full sentences, and even solve arithmetic. It’s almost as if childhood has become a contest. “My son can spell hippopotamus!” “My daughter is in Primary 2 at four!” And the audience claps. But as my neurologist friend gently pointed out, “This applause might be for the wrong performance.”
He explained something that stuck with me: the brain doesn’t grow like bamboo shooting up overnight. It develops like a tree, root first, then stem, then branches, and finally, fruits. The part of the brain responsible for memory (the hippocampus) often matures earlier. That’s why kids can memorize rhymes and repeat what you said last night word for word! But the areas responsible for writing, logical reasoning, and emotional control take their sweet time—some well into the teen years.
So when we start pushing children too early, expecting structured writing, flawless reading, or adult-level thinking at age three or four, we’re essentially forcing unripe fruit to ripen. And we all know how that tastes.
The doctor shook his head and said, “If we keep feeding the brain more than it’s ready to digest, one side gets bloated while the other remains underdeveloped.” That’s how some children end up with bright performances but poor emotional regulation, short attention spans, and social anxiety.
He shared examples of brilliant children who were fast-tracked through school, only to stumble later when maturity, emotional resilience, and deeper comprehension became necessary. Some of these kids, despite glowing early records, begin to burn out or struggle with self-esteem when the going gets tough.
And I nodded deeply. It reminded me of the Yoruba saying: “Bi a ba pe omode l’owuro, ko ni pe l’ale.” If you hurry a child too early in the day, he may not last till evening. In simpler terms, the one you crown too quickly may struggle to keep the crown on his head.
Even placing a 13-year-old in the university might look impressive on paper, but is that child emotionally ready for the chaos of adult academic life? Can they cope with peer pressure, independence, and decision-making without being swallowed by it all?
Let’s be honest, not all that glitters is gold. Sometimes, what we think is brilliance is just fast memorization. And pushing a child based on that alone is like building a mansion on sandy soil.
Dear parents, caregivers, and guardians,
This is not to say that we should not encourage our children or celebrate their strengths. By all means, clap for their effort, guide their curiosity, and support their dreams. But let’s not turn the journey of learning into a 100-meter dash.
Let them enjoy their childhood. Let them play, ask questions, and grow at their own God-given pace. As we say in Yoruba, “Kí ọmọdé tó wọ aṣọ àgbà, ó gbọ́dọ̀ mọ bí a ṣe ń wọ́.” Before a child wears the robe of elders, let them first learn how to carry it.
Raising a child is not about showing off. It’s about shaping a soul, nurturing a mind, and building a foundation strong enough to stand the storms of life. Let’s raise thinkers, not performers. Let’s build balance, not burnout.
Dear readers,
Life is not a sprint, it’s a marathon. And so is childhood. Let the journey be one of joy, not pressure. Let’s water the seed, not drown it. When we slow down, we don’t delay success, we build it right.
This is from my heart.
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