Once in a while the age long saying, ” the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” plays in my mind, and whenever this happens, I normally think it through, and honestly it is very hard for me to comprehend, even at my age.
We have been schooled to believe this saying; both male and female, even the supposed Gen Z. One day, I hilariously asked myself if men are gluttons, and if all they know is food?
Once a woman, a fellow man, mother, girlfriend or sibling needed to get a man’s attention, all he/she has to do is cook a nice meal. Egusi or efo riro and pounded yam, ila alasepo and eba, ewedu abula and amala with eran orisirisi, jollof rice turkey or chicken.
Of course, the person cooking will know the ” victims” sorry, the man’s favourite. He gets served the meal with chilled wine, beer or nice oguro ( palm wine) if he loves the indigenous, and when he is satisfied with a full stomach; everything goes?
I am not writing to discard, throw away or rubbish this age long saying; but honestly, my thought is that everyone loves good food. Men are not the only creatures wired round delicious meals. If any man or woman eats to his or her satisfaction things happen.
As housewives who are most constantly reminded of this age long saying; how do you think a husband would feel when you serve him his meal after a long day’s work with a dirty wrapper tied round your waist, with an unkempt crown ( hair ), armpit smelling like a poultry pen, the whole house messed up with Junior coming out of the room, diaper sagging; never been changed since morning and an inch long mucus running down his nose with the whole house looking unkept, untidy and filthy.
Or as a woman/ wife awaiting your husband’s return home from the office or a long business trip. You already know his favourite meal and you have prepared it.
Immediately he arrived home the housemaid took his briefcase or his luggage from the car, you tried to encourage him to freshen up but the aroma of his favourite meal became a strong attraction and he told you he would like to take his meal first, then other things will follow.
But as soon as he sat down to eat, the “champ” in you wouldn’t allow him enjoy his meal. Your silly questions , nagging, rude comments and insinuations were enough to put him off. I can tell you that no matter how delicious and well prepared your meal is, I doubt if it would enter his stomach talk less of getting to his heart.
What about that woman who after a long day at work arrived home to take care of her wifely and motherly role. A good food for her husband and children, a tidy and neat environment. Taking good care of the kids, checking out their school books and helping out with homework.
Hers is a neat and tidy house, her husband and children are proud of her as a wife and mother.
Despite all these sacrifices she isn’t the type that will let herself go. She takes good care of her personal hygiene and she always smells like a beautiful garden full of fresh flowers. It is obvious that after a good meal, shower and relaxed gist, the next is sex! Yes! Her husband would definitely want her, but every time she refused stating fatigue and work stress as an excuse and on a day her husband decided to leave her alone, she nags and accuses him of getting sex outside.
Obviously, ” man does not live by bread alone”. I say emphatically that food isn’t the only and “narrow” way to a man’s heart”. Beyond food, the most effective ways to a man’s heart involves fostering emotional security, respect and physical affection. Creating a “safe place” where he feels valued and supported.
It is no fallacy that some women cannot cook well for their husbands, no matter how much they try.
If you are one of such women who cannot cook to his heart’s content, then work on being a capable and successful wife to him and his children. Men appreciate this. Make him feel like he is the luckiest person alive to be your partner because you adore him and you are not ashamed to show it. He will feel proud of you always, because you respect him, you are trustworthy and will not put him down by making unpleasant remarks. You are always open to reasonable and meaningful conversation and communication. In addition you are financially independent without being rude and throwing it at his face and you are also confident.
Another way to a man’s heart is through sex! Yes good and satisfying sex, romance and affection for that man who knows what it means. Do not deny him access to your body whenever he wants it. Agreed you are not a robot. If there is a reason you don’t want sex, please communicate this respectfully and reasonably.
The place of good and effective communication in a relationship/marriage cannot be overemphasized. Stay humble and appreciative too. All these works on a man’s heart even faster than “a pot of porridge”
***Published on April 18, 2026
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