Sex is sweet but sweeter without mutilation

Let me speak from my heart today, not as a medical doctor but as a woman who is concerned about the future of our girls.

Some of us were mutilated before we were old enough to understand what was happening to our bodies. Our parents may have believed they were doing the right thing. Perhaps they wanted to preserve our culture, control our sexuality or make us acceptable to future husbands. They might have acted out of love, ignorance, fear or pressure from society. But good intentions do not always produce good results.

Female genital mutilation (FGM), sometimes called female circumcision, involves cutting or injuring the female genital organs for non-medical reasons. It has no health benefits and can cause physical, psychological and sexual difficulties.

Now, let us talk about the bedroom without pretending that the subject does not exist.

Some of us who have undergone FGM know that sexual intimacy can be complicated. Damage to sensitive genital tissue may reduce sexual pleasure, make orgasm difficult for some women and cause pain during intercourse. The experience differs from woman to woman, but the possibility of these consequences is factual.

Imagine being given a beautiful dining table but having one leg deliberately broken. You can still use it, perhaps, but why damage something that was already complete?

That is one way to understand the problem. The female body does not need to be mutilated to make a woman decent, faithful or marriageable.

And please, who appointed anybody the chairman of the Female Sexual Pleasure Reduction Committee? Who decided that a woman must sacrifice part of her sexual wellbeing to satisfy a cultural expectation?

Sometimes, when I think about this matter, I want to ask our ancestors some questions. If the intention was to prepare us for marriage, why would anyone interfere with a part of the body involved in sexual pleasure? Was marriage meant to be a lifetime examination in endurance?

Let us be factual, though: not every woman who has undergone FGM loses the ability to experience orgasm. Women’s experiences differ, and FGM does not affect everyone in exactly the same way. However, it can reduce sexual satisfaction and cause other complications. That risk alone should make us reconsider the practice.

Sex is a natural part of adult married life. Intimacy should not be a punishment, a painful assignment or a duty performed with tears behind a smile. Women deserve the opportunity to enjoy intimacy without preventable injury standing in their way.

Now, let us examine another excuse: religion.

FGM is often defended in the name of religion, but the World Health Organisation states that no religious scripture prescribes the practice. It is not exclusive to Muslims or Christians, either. It is rooted in cultural and social beliefs found among different communities.

As Muslims, we should not automatically accept every practice labelled religious without examining its basis. Our religious leaders have a responsibility to educate families and discourage harmful customs. Culture and religion are not interchangeable, and an old tradition does not become a religious obligation simply because our grandparents practised it.

We can respect our elders without repeating every mistake they made. Respect does not require us to hand harmful practices down to another generation.

My concern is not to condemn our mothers and grandmothers. Many acted according to what they were taught. Rather, I want us to recognise that knowledge brings responsibility. Now that we understand the possible consequences, we must do better.

On behalf of all the unborn girls who cannot speak for themselves, I am appealing to parents, traditional rulers, religious leaders and everyone who has influence in our communities: PLEASE, STOP THIS CULTURE OF FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION.

Let our daughters enjoy their lives. Let them grow up with their bodies intact, their dignity protected and their futures free from preventable harm. Do not make a decision about a child’s body today that she may spend her adult life struggling to understand.

Our girls are not pieces of cloth to be trimmed to suit society’s taste. They are human beings whose bodies deserve protection.

We can preserve our language, food, festivals, values and family traditions without cutting our daughters. The culture we should pass down is one that protects life, not one that puts it at risk.

Let us end the silence, challenge the myths and protect the next generation.

From my heart, I say this with every ounce of concern I have: our daughters deserve better. They deserve love without injury, marriage without unnecessary suffering and intimacy without preventable harm.

Let us stop mutilating our girls. Let them live. Let them love. Let them enjoy the fullness of life.

Because, truly, sex is sweet, but sweeter without mutilation!

***Published October 31, 2026