Haja Sekinah Lawal is a force to reckon with, in terms of capacity and passion for women development. Though a strict adherent to her islamic faith, she is free and open to all who come her way and relate with them on merit. In this interview with TheTabloid.net, she speaks on parents, girls, rape, violence etc. Excerpts
Is it true we are in women’s world?
We cannot talk of being in women’s world in this part of the world. Probably in overseas but definitely not in Nigeria. This is a highly patriarchal environment where most things favour men more than women.
How should parents bring their female child up?
I wouldn’t say only about females really but all our children. The best way of upbringing is on the path of our Creator. When we instill the fear of God in them right from birth, through their teen years and let them know that whatever they do, even if mummy and daddy are not there to see what they are doing, Allah is seeing them and will surely reward them accordingly. This will instill the fear of God in them from that tender age and will continue to guide them throughout their lives.
As parents, we must be of best examples too because we are their first role models. They learn more from what we do than what we ask them to do. In as much as we have to be firm and discipline them when necessary, we also need to be their best friends who they can discuss their concerns with any time. It should not be like our own time of growing up when mothers won’t discuss sex education with their children, we have to be their first teacher in all areas of life including their reproductive health issues. We mudt let them know that their body is a temple of God that must be guarded jealously tiĺl their wedding night. And this applies to both males and females.
And this is why as parents, once they finish their education and start working، having remain chaste till graduation and after serving their fatherland, we must encourage and support them in settling down properly in marriage with a partner of likemind, after all necessary ground works, family background checks, being on the same page in terms of religious belief, going through necessary guidance and counselling relating to finances, intimacy, past and present emotional unbundling among other issues.
Are female children truly vulnerable than male counterparts?
Of course, simply because of the way we are made and also because of the moral decadent in our society as well as the rising insecurity in our society. Also, the patriarchal nature of our society makes girls vulnerable.
Rape, law and enforcement. What is your view?
My view is a big no to all forms of violence; domestic violence, rape, incest, emotional and verbal abuses, must all be highly discouraged by all. Unfortunately, our laws in this country as well as their enforcements are not deterrent enough. And you have many cases still being in court for years.
Are some parents an accomplice to their daughters failures?
Yes; many parents are in the habit of indulging their children whenever they err. Instead of scolding such children from tender age, some parents even go to the extent of fighting teachers for punishing their children for doing something wrong. They are not helping such children to be of best behaviour nor to develop into great and responsible adults.
Have you an advice to young girls and their parents?
Parents should always remember those verses of the Qur’an that says that we are all sheperds and we will be answerable to our Creator about our children. Hence, whoever has train his or her children to be of best morals and behaviour, will surely reap the benefits while those who are doing otherwise will also bear the consequences.
And we all must know that the home front is the basic nucleus of any society and a nation. As a result, the adults we are all complaining about today are products of certain homes. This simply means that if we all agreed to train our children on the path of goodness, those are the children that will grow up to be leaders in various field of human endeavours in future who will govern with the fear of God, lead government parastatals and corporate organisations, transact businesses with high integrity, great virtues and fear of God knowing fully well that they are accountable to their Creator not only in this life but on the Day of Judgement.
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