They said marriage is a journey. What they didn’t say is that sometimes, the GPS will take you through potholes, traffic, and the occasional spiritual flat tyre. One moment you’re exchanging rings and feeding each other cake, the next moment, you’re wondering why this man snores like a generator that lacks servicing.
Now, let’s remove our gèlè and talk sister to sister. You see, in this journey of marriage, we all know that communication is key, respect is a pillar, and patience is a virtue, but let me gently share a truth our mothers didn’t always spell out: SEX IS POWER. Yes, in the right hands, it’s not just pleasure, it’s influence, peacekeeping, and even silent correction.
I don’t mean “just lie down and collect salary” type of sex o. I mean the type that can settle arguments, change behaviours, and even make your husband start washing plates without asking. Oh yes, I said what I said!
Do you know it’s a very bad thing, very, very bad as a woman, to be married and not know how to take your husband to cloud 9? What do you now want to use to hold him? Yam porridge and attitude? My sister, wake up! If you don’t know how to use your God-given weapon, what do you really bring to this battlefield of love?
Let me tell you something for free: if you’re not good in bed, that’s when your husband will start saying, “You can’t use sex to control me.” But if you’re an expert, as in, the real commander-in-chief of the bedroom battalion, ah, my sister, I swear down, his head will rest peacefully under your armpit like a baby lizard seeking warmth.
Now let me confess small before you judge me. I don’t want you to see me as ọmọ burúkú, but this weapon, this blessed gift from heaven has done wonders in my home. Let me take you back to that dark time…
My husband developed a habit I found deeply unpleasant, something I couldn’t tolerate no matter how hard I tried. I spoke to him respectfully, told him how much it affected me, and he promised to stop. Days passed, weeks followed, but nothing changed. I turned to Allah—I prayed, fasted, and made du’a, hoping he’d see things from my heart.
So I called him one night, and with all the calmness of a woman about to rearrange her destiny, I said: “Honey, from today, this body is on strike. No touching, no preview, no full movie, until you stop that nonsense.”
My people, the very next morning, this man held my hands and said, “I’ve stopped it, I swear. In fact, I don’t even know why I started it.”
I fell on my knees and said, “God, thank you for giving me sense!”
You see, it’s not every problem that requires shouting or sulking. Some things require skills, timing, and small holy seduction.
So, dear woman, go and improve your skills. Learn how to take your husband to the promised land of milk, honey, and heavenly shivers. Be his personal therapist, chiropractor, and bedroom sugar mummy, all in one. Don’t be shy. Watch tutorials, read books, ask questions. Make your bedroom a paradise, not a police station.
And to the husbands out there, if your wife is putting in the work, please don’t go and misbehave. Respect the anointing. Honour the ministry.
Let me stop here before somebody reports me to Iya Adini Alasalatu Agbaye
But one last time: sex is not everything, but when used wisely in marriage, it is something powerful.
Use it well, and may your marriage be full of love, laughter, and late-night apologies with happy endings.
Pssst… my sister, come closer. If you truly want to upgrade your game in the most graceful way, secretly read The New Joy of Sex by Alex Comfort and The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. Powerful, tasteful, unforgettable. Use them wisely—and thank me later. But shhh… keep it between us.
Case closed. Arise, bedroom warriors!
Published on July 19, 2025
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