Mr A is one of those men who believe family comes first. He is one man who desires to keep his family intact. He loves his children and provides for their needs at all times. His wife remains his priority and confidant, and he would do anything to make her happy.
Some of his friends and colleagues sometimes crack jokes about the fact that his wife has fed him with the juju laced vegetable ” oti fun e ‘lefo je”. He doesn’t mind, he would shrug off. He knows what he wants and sets his mind out to achieve it.
When Sanmi, his closest friend, asked him why this level of determination and dedication to his wife and children ( as if it was strange), Mr A, as he is foundly called, answered him without hesitation that he grew up loved and protected by his parents; his father especially loved and cared for him and his siblings, they had a beautiful childhood and enjoyed it. He has no other option than to do same for his children and wife.
He also stated that if he didn’t take care of his wife and children what would he be doing. He had a good and well paying job. He can be classified as one of the very lucky and comfortable men.
Taking care of his family didn’t rob him off his fun time with his friends. When they decide to do the boys outing, one thing he never indulges in is extra marital affairs and the issue of the other woman.
He always tells his friends that he doesn’t want the complications that come with having another woman.
His children went to the best schools with holidays in choice spots overseas. His wife’s business was well funded. His wife’s family were not left out too, they enjoyed the goodness of having a hardworking and generous son-in-law, and they always praised him.
Just like every parent’s prayers, Mr. A’s three children graduated from the University and he sent them all for Masters Degrees and even Ph.D abroad. Of course, they found spouses there and started a new life.
This was when his travails began. His wife became the proverbial Ajala. She would leave a child’s house to the next with one excuse or the other.
Mr, A was already retired but not tired. He started his own business, but he will never stop telling those who care to listen how much he missed his wife.
He has money but lacks care , love and companionship which should be the rock of old age. Of course, he became a shadow of himself and he was always at the mercy of the house helps and stewards.
Some of his friends and family members who didn’t like the state of neglect advised him to take another wife but he refused, saying he didn’t do that when he was younger and he wasn’t ready for the other woman syndrome now. It’s rather unfortunate that his efforts, dedication and care for his family in his prime came to this.
Why would a man like Mr A, who gave his all to his wife and family, be made to suffer the neglected man’s syndrome when he needed his wife and children most?
Mr. A’s lot resembles that of a Professor whose story has been making the rounds on social media recently. The said Prof, after taking good care of his children and wife is now neglected to a life of almost misery and loneliness because his wife left him to be with the children who are overseas.
Yes, it is good for her to go and help the children with their babies and all that. A mother’s joy is taking care of her children and grandchildren if she still has breadth and good health; but should that be at the expense of the father and head of the family who made sure that they all had the best when they were growing up?
I once listened to a man who said that he would never allow a woman to enjoy all he worked for at old age. He said whenever he’s going out when his kids were babies and even toddlers, he would hug them and put a little of his spittle in their mouth. It’s a form of bond he said. His children will never forget him. Not only this, he made sure they know that he pays their school fees and takes care of all their needs and that of their mothers.
He said this because he believes that one of the reasons children neglect fathers at old age is because some mothers are very crafty. They will make the children believe they were the one responsible for everything. This could lead to resentment from the children, and it could affect their father-child relationships later in life.
Sincerely, this issue of women leaving their home and husbands behind and going to take care of grandchildren either here in Nigeria or abroad should be reviewed and controlled. Not every woman is guilty of neglect and abandonment of their husbands but some do. My question is, can’t men also go for Omugow? Which laws say only women can?
Even if it’s not for child care, children should give their father’s treats too. Holidays abroad, quality family time together at old age will go a long way for daddies and Grandpas too.
If your father’s too much care of you and was there all the way during childhood and growing up, he should be taken care of and loved at old age. Men are human too.
Someone asked if he was an absentee father; hmmm, that’s a story for another day. But honestly, nothing stops you from taking care of an absentee father for posterity sake.
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