They both have mutual friends who cannot fathom the reason they are always at each other’s throats.
Daniel cannot stand his younger brother, Jeff. He complains and condems everything Jeff does. It is very obvious that the very presence, or one can use the word existence, of Jeff irritates Daniel.
This situation has been on since they were in the primary school and their mutual friends from way back through secondary school and even the university can testify to this.
Daniel criticizes, bullies and even disgraces his brother at will. Sometimes when Jeff becomes tired of the humiliation, he fights back with words that would definitely hurt his elder brother.
People, who don’t know them well, sometimes wonder if they truly are siblings. Unfortunately, the resemblance of the two brothers is uncanny, and a first timer could take them for twins.
The rivalry between them reached a peak the day Daniel almost killed Jeff.
Both of them were students of a private university, in the same level/ year but studying different courses. Daniel made sure they didn’t reside in the same hostel.
On this particular day, it was Jeff’s birthday and their parents decided to spend some time with them to celebrate him.
Daniel had his own birthday earlier, but he told his parents not to come around.
Jeff is asthmatic since childhood. Daniel went to his hostel to inform him that their parents would soon be around; he took Jeff’s inhaler when he was dressing up and threw it in the trashcan. He equally rushed him out of the hostel when Jeff was looking for his inhaler, he never went anywhere without it.
Because of his health issue, Jeff does not wear perfume. Daniel kept his inhaler from him and sprayed a very strong perfume on him on their way to the car park where their parents were waiting.
Jeff had an asthmatic attack almost immediately and instead of Daniel helping him, he left his brother and went to meet their parents.
A group of students rushed him to the school medical centre. On getting to where their parents were waiting, Daniel did not tell the waiting parents what had happened. When they asked about his brother, he told them he had informed him that they were around and he said they know that Jeff was found of keeping others waiting while taking his time to dress up like a woman while wasting other people’s time.
After about 30 minutes, their mom became uncomfortable and started calling Jeff’s phone number. Another person picked up and told her that Jeff was in the schools medical centre.
Jeff was lucky because he got help on time. He was rushed to the hospital and all he needed was first aid to revive him. He told his parents what had happened and others who witnessed what happy corroborated his story.
It became a serious issue in school for Daniel, especially when Jeff’s roommate who saw him trashing his brothers inhaler spoke up.
The school’s authority took it up, and during interogation and his time out with the counselor, Daniel confessed to hating his younger brother and wants him out of the way.
He said their parents preferred him. Always praising him and showering him with accolades right from the time they were young. Jeff got all the pats on the back, the gifts, the praises and all the good things.
He explained that he had to protect his birthright and fight for his parents attention.
The rivalry between the two brothers is so intense because sometimes when Jeff too is fed up, he hits back at his elder brother.
Jeff is natural; and everything including attention love and all comes to him naturally while Daniel had to compete and fight for it even from friends once Jeff is involved.
Their parents didn’t help the matter as their father often referred to Jeff as his late father who reincarnated when they were growing up. In fact Jeff received all the attention from both parents.
Daniel’s way of getting back was to become a deviant, unruly and melancholic, which, of course, caused him a lot, including repeating a class which made him become his brothers class mate.
Just like in the case of Daniel and Jeff, rivalry among siblings occur as a result of careless parenting in most cases. Almost all the time, it is a sign of emotional immature and negligent parents who carelessly show that they love and prefer a child to the other or others which leaves other children competing for parental attention, recourses, and validity.
This, most times, leads to jealousy, insecurity, low self-esteem for the remaining children who feel neglected. Once a child or children feel neglected, they begin to exhibit signs like rivalry, jealousy, competition, gas- lighting, emotional drain among others.
It also doesn’t end well for the preferred child and even the neglected. As parents, we have a duty to foster a healthy relationship among our children.
The reality remains that there definitely will be a preferred child due to a lot of factors, but parents should be careful not to make it glaring or at the expense of others.
Sibling rivalry has led to a lot of devastating family issues and consequences because in some cases it manifests even into adulthood and to the next generation.
What then is the joy of parents when they cannot trust their children to have a healthy relationship even when they are no more?
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