Apparently, she is on holiday with her elder sister who lives in the diaspora, trying to cool off from a marriage that went sour. According to their conversation, she went through a lot in the hands of her mother-in-law, who had raised her husband as a single mother.
Anytime her mother-in-law had issues with her, her husband always stood in the gap for her. He was always in her defence because he did not want a broken home. He always told her that he went through a lot as a child raised by a single mother and did not want that experience for his own children.
Perhaps because he had always supported her, or for reasons best known to her, she started misbehaving.
In truth, what happened in the past few months was not entirely her fault. Her mother-in-law had to come and stay with them because she was ill. Her husband had already begged her to tolerate his mother for his sake, which she did, but at a point she felt she could no longer stomach her excesses and had a fight with her that almost resulted in a full-blown fisticuff.
When her husband returned from work, he got angry with her because he had already pleaded with her not to quarrel with his mother for any reason, more so as she was sick. Her mother-in-law’s blood pressure had been dangerously high and that was what they were managing. That was also the reason she was staying with them, to access quality medical care.
The situation led to a big quarrel between the couple, and instead of looking for a way to resolve the issue, she moved out of her matrimonial home, thereby escalating matters.
Her elder sister did not take sides with her. She told her it was wrong to have disobeyed her husband regardless of the level of provocation from her mother-in-law after he had pleaded with her. She should have apologised to her husband and found a way to resolve the matter, instead of leaving her home.
At a point, their conversation veered towards whether she could plead with her husband on her knees.
She said she could not, and her sister then asked if she could at least greet her husband on her knees. Her response was a vehement, “God forbid!”
Her response and tone attracted the attention of many of us to the sisters. The elder sister actually wanted to know if it was taboo to greet one’s husband on bended knees, as she does it often.
I asked the question subconsciously too, and I am asking now: is it really a big deal for a wife, for many reasons, to greet her husband on her knees?
While pondering this, I remembered a scene I witnessed years ago. I had gone to interview a prominent woman of God who, alongside her revered husband, pastors one of the largest, if not the largest, Pentecostal churches in the country.
I got there rather early because I had been informed of her busy schedule the previous day. She came out as soon as she was informed of my arrival because she was expecting me.
Before we started the interview, she told me she had prepared Daddy’s breakfast and pleaded that I permit her to serve him whenever he stepped out, as she had not seen him that day. Of course, I consented.
We were about 15 minutes into the interview when her personal assistant told her Daddy was on his way out. She stood up and met him as he was about to step into the living room. As old as she was then, and as advanced as they were in marriage even then, Mummy knelt down and said, “E kaaro, Sir.” He answered and prayed for her before going to the dining table to eat.
She wanted to excuse herself again to be by his side while he ate, but Daddy said she should stay with me.
I was surprised, and without saying a word, Mummy read my countenance and told me she had been doing that for years and that his prayers had worked, and were still working for her.
She added that she always advised intending couples and newlyweds who passed through her to emulate it.
Can we find this practice today? The example got me thinking. Would it not be described as old-fashioned?
Let’s leave out kneeling to say good morning and ask: what could make a woman go on her knees before her husband? Can you, or would you, do it?
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