An issue has been bothering me for a while now; I couldn’t just take it off my mind after my encounter with this two-year-old toddler and her mum in church on Sunday.
I have noticed that whenever this little girl cried or needed her mother’s attention; the next thing was her mother handed her mobile phone over to her to watch a cartoon.
The next thing was that, this little girl headed to a corner with the phone. I was shocked to realize that she could navigate the phone, she sits quietly and watches her choice of cartoon oblivious of her environment; living in her own world that very moment.
My first question is, should her mother’s mobile phone take the place of her toy; shouldn’t the mobile phone be a private thing? As a mother, you can give your baby your phone to play with but if your husband wants it, it becomes “my privacy”. This is on a lighter note, anyways.
This woman isn’t the only one “guilty as charged”. Majority of mother’s today do this; I don’t know if father’s does too. Once they are busy, they keep their children busy too by watching cartoons on their mobile phone and if by accident the little one drops or spoils the phone, they beat him or her up and begin to scream.
Hmmm, a child who knows the nitty gritty of your mobile phone grows up gradually to operate the phone better and begin to use the phone for other things aside watching cartoons.
I witnessed a scenario sometimes ago in a Nursery and Primary school just before the school went on vacation. I was there for marketing. I had been there before but the Head Mistress asked me to come back and see the school owner as she’s the one who can authorize the transaction.
I walked into the administrative part of the school and the atmosphere was very tense; by the time I spent few hours, I learnt the bone of contention. A 10-year Basic 5 student came to school with one of her mum’s mobile phones and she was caught watching phonographic content on it and even sharing it with some of her classmates.
One of the students in the class reported her to the teacher and when the teacher apprehended her she was smart enough to quickly navigate out of the site and said it was a lie. The others insisted that was what she was watching and even some of her friends she showed it to confessed to watching with her.
The teacher made a report to the proprietress. This girl maintained her story line and said both her classmates and teacher were lying. She, however, confessed when the proprietress threatened to flog her with the cane. She was asked to open the site and she did to everyone’s shock.
Immediately, the school invited her mum as her shop was not too far from the school. She started crying and screaming ” Omode yi ma pa mi” when she was told what her child did. In the first place, how did a 10 -year -old sneak her mother’s phone to the school without her mother’s knowledge and her classmates said that wasn’t her first time of coming to school with the phone.
How on earth did she know about the site? Has she been watching it while the mother claims ignorance? Mothers! We have a lot to do. The girl is her first born with two other younger siblings the youngest still a suckling baby.
If a child watches phonographic content at 10; what happens next. Their father works out of town, so I learnt. I didn’t say a word because honestly, there’s nothing to say, I was shocked. “Your phone isn’t your child’s toy” kept ringing in my head, I was there for something else; so, I decided to mind my business.
The mother then pleaded with the proprietress to flog her daughter, but another guest present answered her immediately, that it’s parents like her who would get the school authority arrested or beat the teacher up if their child is flogged in school. The moral lesson: “Parents, please, watch and train up your child at home. They spend more time at home than they do in school”.
The issue of tablets comes in too. I want to believe the essence of this device is for kids to learn. Believe me, the essence has been defeated, when the kids are on this device all through the day except when they want to eat. Some of them are so addicted to their tabs that they take it to the dining table with them and watch instead of eating.
The culture of tablets and phones came from the Western world, and I am sorry to say that in this part of the world we tend to abuse a lot of things.
The woman in the first narrative isn’t the only mother guilty, most mothers are; men hardly give their phones to their kids as toys. I believe women do this to get their kids out of their hair while they are busy, but is it right?
“I do that to keep him busy so he would allow me finish my chores on time” another mother said.
Does it mean that parents don’t have time for their children anymore? Where is the love, care and warmth of motherhood?
Do we still find mother’s (parents)who tell their kids stories to bring out morals and values? Where has our cultural values eroded to?
While we were growing up, the most important meal in our home is dinner. We all sit together at the dining table and eat together. After food, we tidied up on time to meet our parents in the living room before the NTA Network News, because it is a must that we watch it together.
In between after meal and the news, we talked. My parents asked about our day in school and outside school. If you had any issue, this was the time to raise it. We talked, we shared, and a lot were sorted.
Once the news music came up, we all listenened and watched with attention because my father would ask questions afterwards to know if you concentrated. (My mother’s duty is asking what the church sermon was about on Sundays).
You could go to bed after this or remain with them and talk about issues, if there was any. Does such time still exist? I am also guilty of this while raising my kids, but, of course, I had other time outs and we talked about issues.
How much time do parents create for their kids now? Majority keep them busy with devices. It is important to know that being with these devices for too long has negative side effects. First, their eyes are exposed to too much light. Kids who are in this shoes become intensely irritable when you ask them to leave their tablets or phones. They lose interest in other activities.
For those parents whose excuse is that they are learning with the tablets and phones, do you take out time to check what they are watching. Some kids may begin to lie and sneak their devices into toilets and bathrooms behind their parents.
Psychological issues associated with prolonged use of these devices includes; increased anxiety, depression, feeling of isolation and sometimes inferiority complex.
Please, note that scientifically, it has been proven that the stimuli produced by the screen can activate the dopamine reward system in the brain, creating a dopamine feedback loop similar to those found in the brain of nicotine or cocaine users.
Too much of everything is bad, this is a fact. As parents we should be close to our kids and know what they are up to.
Do not allow their growing up stage to be monitored and guided by what they see and learn on the social media through these devices. I may not know, but I ask today; at what age should a child have access to a phone or other devices? Let us employ intentional, practical and inclusive parenting. Please, create time for your children, do not leave them at the mercy of things they learn from elsewhere.
***Published April 25, 2026
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